The theme for International Women’s Day 2022 was gender equality for all. That aims to move towards a world that is free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. That also targets a world where difference is valued and celebrated. We can, and we have to, ‘break the bias’ if we are to build an equitable and inclusive society for our daughters. A society where they can truly flourish and reach their full potential.
Breaking the bias starts from us, women. First, we need to believe in change and understand the cost of not doing so.
As women, while we are busy raising our family, we often undermine our own health. We don’t realise that our wellbeing directly translates into the wellbeing of the entire family.
On the 8th of March, we received many messages, on social media, praising various attributes of women such as the ultimate symbol of sacrifice, unconditional love, always putting others first, ‘karoona ki moorat’, so on and so forth. Such messages further reinforce the common stereotypes that a woman’s need always comes last.
Genetically speaking, as living beings, mothers have a strong instinct to protect their young offspring. But this responsibility should not automatically extend to other members of the family and adult children who are fully capable of looking after themselves.
In the long run, no one benefits from this; for many reasons. Firstly, during the early stages of life, children learn by observing their mother’s behaviour. If a mother is not making it a priority to look after her own wellbeing and happiness, her children are likely to copy her behaviour when they grow up. . As a mother, what we don’t realise is that we are the hero and role model of our children. If we want our children to grow up to be healthy, well-adjusted and happy individuals, then we need to lead by example by putting our health, happiness and mental well-being first.
The second reason for looking after ourselves is that a mother is the manager of the house. We are the glue that binds the family together. If we are suffering in silence or if we don’t get the respect and recognition for our talent, then it can lead to loss of confidence. Getting recognition is one of the most important human needs, after physical safety and love, according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. We cannot care for our family to the best of our ability, when we are not happy with our situation. Worse still, if we feel under-appreciated, it can lead to resentment. This can further hamper our ability to manage and lead the family, the way we would like.
A common example that is often used is to “put your own oxygen mask on first”. Only then are you in a position to help others. In summary, do not ignore your own health and emotional needs. Be in control of your health, happiness and finance. Eat well, sleep well, make sure you put aside some time to do physical exercise. For your mental wellbeing, avoid self-criticism. Last but not the least, praise yourself as often as you can.
About the Author:
Mubina Jamdar is an accredited practising dietitian, life coach and a founder of a not-for-profit organisation called ‘Diabetes Hub Multicultural Australia’. She’s a much-loved public speaker. She presents talks on nutrition, health and wellbeing. She strongly believes in serving the humanity for a better world. She volunteers for many Australian and international community organisations. She can be reached via email or through her Facebook page.
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