Although, I enjoy buying gifts 🎁 selecting them for friends and family and wrapping them, I agree it can be time consuming and overwhelming at times. Over the years I’ve found it quite difficult to actually buy my spouse the ‘perfect’ gift 💝
So, last year we decided to actually stop exchanging physical gifts during the festive season but instead to try to give our marriage time, energy and focus in some way👍🏾
So, today I want to ask you a question you’ve probably rarely been asked:👇🏾
What are you getting your marriage for this brand New Year 2022? Think 🤔 about it for a moment.
💕Your marriage is the foundation of your parenting.
💕Your marriage is designed to last a lifetime.
💕Your marriage is one tool God uses to grow and mature you.
But it’s rarely at the top of the list of what we invest in. So what does it really mean to get our marriage something for the New Year? Well, here are a few ideas and you’ll be pleased to know they cost nothing more than intentionality.
Let’s get started:
1. The Gift of Listening
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Let’s be honest, most of us aren’t really that great at listening to our spouse. Like really listening. We are usually listening to form a response rather than listening to fully understand. Shift it to – intentionally listening with both eyes and ears. No distractions. This is a valuable strategy.
2. The Gift of Realistic Expectations.
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Phew! This is a biggie! Research indicates that the number one cause of divorce isn’t money, sex, infidelity or communication. Those are secondary issues of a deeper issue. They are symptoms of the root issue of unmet expectations. When we adjust our expectations it’s less about how my spouse needs to change or get better and more about how I need to accept them as they are.
3. The Gift of Forgiveness.
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We’re always going to bump up against the imperfection of our spouse. Too often we take those experiences and store them away in our heart as grudges (and after enough time, this usually leads to an explosion 💥)
When instead, our first response should actually be to forgive our spouse so that we can communicate in both truth and grace.
4. The Gift of Freedom to Be Themselves.
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The truth is we’re all wonderfully incompatible and marriage simply brings a magnifying glass 🔎 to those differences. If we don’t learn to accept one another, distance grows in our relationship. If that distance isn’t addressed, this can lead us to rejection which puts miles between our hearts.
Instead of being frustrated with each other’s personalities and temperaments, this New Year let’s put in the work to increase our curiosity and learn how to be fascinated by what makes us different!
5. The Gift of Safe Communication.
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It’s not uncommon for conversations, especially around decision-making to be challenging dynamic in marriages. What’s meant to be a simple discussion leads to frustration and one person just “giving in” to limit the feelings of conflict. Over time this leads to growing feelings of frustration and resentment.
Instead, it’s important for couples to start focusing on ‘safe conversations.’ Contact Cynthia on www.3Rcounselling.com.au to learn this technique 💕
6. The Gift of Dreaming Together.
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It is so common for couples to dream about the future when they are dating but as marriage goes on, they find themselves much more focused on the day to day details.
This is a natural progression with caring for kids, navigating daily stresses and keeping a family afloat, but it also removes a layer of unity in a marriage.
This New Year, I wish to encourage you to sit down and consider dreaming a little bit with your spouse. Set some goals you can pursue together. Utilize a safe conversation to hear what’s on each of your hearts 💕
7. The Gift of Connection.
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Dr. Jennifer Degler, recommends that couples have 15 minutes of connection each day, plus connecting one night a week, one day a month and one weekend a quarter!
This is not easy to do but it comes down to intentionally prioritizing connection with one another! Our marriage can’t go on the back- burner.
This is the relationship that matters most and it can only be strengthened through connection.
8. The Gift of Time.
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What a beautiful gift this is! Sometimes this might be time to do a project they’ve wanted to do, time to do something special they’ve been interested in, time for connection or simply the time to listen carefully. Your marriage deserves the gift of time. Infact, it’s the relationship that deserves your time the most.
9. The Gift of Touch.
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Now especially in our current world of increased physical isolation, this gift is all the more meaningful. This doesn’t have to mean sexual touch. It can be the touch of a shoulder, a long hug, holding your spouse’s hand or just resting your head on their shoulder. This helps build intimacy and connection. Intentionally providing space for physical touch which is an important part of deep intimacy in your marriage 💕
10. The Gift of Encouragement.
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Our natural tendency is to see the things our spouse isn’t, rather than encourage them in the things that they are. What a powerful shift this would be in each of our marriages if we flipped that around!
Write a short note that highlights something you love about your spouse. Send a text that acknowledges something they did.
So there it is! These are 10 (free) things you can give your spouse this New Year 2022!
Even small shifts can truly be game-changers in the long – term health of a marriage. If you are not sure where to start, just pick one from the list!💕
Otherwise, please feel free to contact Cynthia Nathan, Relationship Counselor and Marriage & Relationship Educator of 3R Counselling for more information and to book a session with her for your discovery into marriage building techniques she can help you with.
There’s so much to gain for the most important relationship of your life – your marriage 💕and nothing to lose!
Thank you and wishing you and your loved ones a wonderful New Year 2022!
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Read More: https://www.shemagazine.com.au/how-you-and-your-spouse-can-avoid-holiday-overwhelm-together/